2020 Update/sIngle release
Long time no see, I hope you’ve all been staying safe through the covid-19 drama!
The last time I did this I was in year 11, having just finished my first year at a new school in Canberra. I thought it was a bit overdue.
This year has been so tough on everyone.
I moved to Canberra with some friends, got a new job (did not work out), was temporarily homeless, had a little car accident, was diagnosed with bipolar, got put on some FUN (not) medications, then made the ultimate decision to move back home with my parents.
This all piled into one big 3 month meltdown, consisting of me being either too depressed to leave the bed or manic and and trying out new hobbies every 2 days. Also started roller skating and got some tattoos, so that’s sick.
By now you may have heard my song, Watch Me Break Your Heart. That was such a huge thing for me and I received some amazing support and positivity! Unfortunately, there was a lot of the opposite. Mostly in the form of friends and family that were supportive right up to the point where I released my song and they realised it was - wait for it - ✨gay✨. Particularly those in the music industry.
I also still haven’t heard a single word from people I considered some of my best friends. It really hurt to find out people would just shun me like that because of who I am. I didn’t expect to have much support from the Country music community for the song (it’s not very country) but I did hope for support for ME from my friends in country music after so many years singing alongside them. So that kicked me in the stomach and I retreated from social media and music, yet again. I didn’t promote my song, didn’t reply to messages.
And now we get to the cheesy part.
I’m done with that. I’m sick of hiding away because of the way other people feel about me and MY art. Don’t get me wrong, it deeply saddens me that there are STILL people (especially in country music, let’s be real) so against a girl loving a girl or a boy loving a boy, but I’m going to try my best to make it less taboo in the Australian music world.
Anyway, love is love, rainbows, all that jazz.
A raging queer
P.S. listen to my song if u haven’t
☆ End of 2018 life update ☆
I decided to write an end of year blog post because this year has been an amazing and messy adventure. (Warning: this WILL get very honest, cheesy and a lil bit preachy)
I started the year at a new school in a completely new town (one with 800 year 11 & 12 students as opposed to a 300 student years 7-12 high school.)
Terrifying. But as the year went on, I realised it was the best decision I ever made. Found some of the best people I’ve ever met and had more fun than I had in the old town in nearly 15 years.
This school also came with a GREAT drama/music program that opened my eyes to things I never thought I’d give a second look; I started getting into musical theatre. Say that to me a year ago and I would’ve laughed. This brought me to auditioning in my favourite musical, Grease. I got the part of Sandy and that was kinda crazy.
This, plus sooo much schoolwork & part time work took up the majority of my time.
You may have noticed I’ve been really quiet on social media in the past few months. Yes, I’ve been busy, but I’ve done a lot of thinking too.
Earlier on in the year, as many of you know, I had surgery on my wrist. As a musician this was really not fun, I couldn’t play any instruments AT ALL for 3 months and couldn’t play more than a couple songs for another 2 or 3 months. This took a toll on me physically and mentally; I felt hopeless and questioned my career in music for a while.
Honestly, there were days I considered quitting music altogether. Simple, seemingly harmless times like when I couldn’t seem to write a single lyric, or I couldn’t play a chord that used to be extremely easy to me because my wrist still hasn’t recovered completely (I’m looking at you f chord). Or the more crappy occasions, like having panic attacks backstage at every gig for no apparent reason or not really having the motivation to prepare for said gigs.
This all contributed to a really intense year of my life. There were quite a few setbacks in my personal life that I won’t go into but did make everything a bit too much at times. That being said, there were some really really fun times that made those miserable times worth it. Also, got some good songs out of life that I’ll be sharing with you all soon enough.
I’ve paid lots of attention to the negatives writing this but the truth is, I’m happier than I’ve ever been this year. There were definitely rough patches but I’m in a really good place now and I’m happy with where I am.
Just some positives:
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas (or anything you celebrate!) and have a very very happy new year. Try focusing on the positives and not fixate on things that make you unhappy.
Anyway, I’m done with the preachy stuff.
Thank you for all your support this past year.
Much love to all,
Matilda Rose xx